Labor deck adventures

Nights are killing me. Everything is ok until about 3am, then my whole body gets chills, and my eyes start to burn. It's terrible. And miraculously around 530am you start to wake up again, regardless of what is going on. Anyways - yet again I got caught up with a pusher. A young lady with hx of alcohol abuse and PTSD/depression, delivering her first baby. This inevitably translates to whiny, needy, and "difficult" pt for most folks.
For me this meant a young girl without guidance, who is understandably scared, and not able to cope as well as someone with a different hx. She had a terrible time pushing, vomiting in between pushes, and continually complaining of pain preventing her from being able to push well. Two frustrating hours later, the nurse exasperated and tired o f coaching and encouraging and who was having a hard time emphasizing with the poor girl, the supportive bf, and myself the semi useful resident, we got anesthesia to give some more pain med thru her epidural. One hour later she was pushing better but but not enough. End of story she got a forces delivery and a second degree tear. The sweetest thing - most deliveries dad gets all caught up in baby and totally forgets about poor mom, but In this case he did not rush over to baby but rather stayed with mom and made sure she was ok.
Next awesome thing was I delivered a 10lb baby! The mom was pretty large herself. And the most exciting part - I did a successful repair, my senior was so patient and really guided me thru it which was awesome. I think with a few more I'll get the hang of it.
I think one of the hardest parts of ob but also medicine in general for me is being aggressive. You need to be confident in your management even if ur not and lead, make decisons and so forth. This is hard for me because one I don't always feel confident in my decisions and I am just so afraid to be wrong. I'm working on it and imagine it improves with time, but man it's hard.
One more funny thing, how there is truly no shame once ur in labor. I mean ur on the bed naked essentially on bottom with ur legs open and sometimes these ladies push on their sides with their giant thighs and buttocks just out there all up in the dads face haha. Also interestingly many of the ladies I've been seeing are shaven!