angry surgeons

Most people either love or hate surgery. These people are so busy that they don'' have time to have lives outside of the hospital. My first day of peds surgery I was told to show up at this vague computer and find the "list " of patients. The team consisted of myself, R3 and the surgeon, who we only saw on the day of surgery. Once I found the list i was to update it with vitals, labs, and new info for each patient. I couldn't find the computer. I tried calling the previous med student to find out but she was not answering. I asked the nursed and they had no idea what I was talking about. I found a computer with a paper list next to it from earlier in the week with the names of patients. So I went ahead and used that one. A half and hour passed and my resident still wasn't there. So i just kept reading my review book. I didn't' want to page him as I know a lot of times the residents show up late. Finally he came in red faced and angry. "What have you been doing this whole time? I've been calling you." "Reading, I updated the old list. I couldn't find the computer." "SO you've just been sitting here? Why didn't' you ask, see all these nurses here, you have to ask? Keep looking around? I already filled out the list for today. " That was our first encounter. Then i had to follow him around and help him with each patients note. I felt like crying. I felt like melting away. I tried not to make peep so as not to make him more mad. I felt so incompetent. Felt so small. I looked for every way that I could help to make up for the time i had wasted him. All day i was on my toes. Replaying the moment in my mind. I even stayed extra late that day to do an H and P on a patient to help him out. He didn't yell at me again but he certainly wasn't very nice. The next day he semi apologized for yelling at me, and in good med student form i said, "oh i guess i deserved it. I should have been more proactive." Even though in my mind I thought you bastard! It was my first day how was i supposed to know, huh? and I'm a med student not ur intern, interns do all the stuff you are asking gme to do. But that's how it is, you put ur best face forward and just suck it up, especially on surgery.